Food and Entertaining

Epic Chef – The Holiday Special

if you like looks you’re prepared aesthetically pleasing fine-dining vision is the most exquisite ingredients then consider yourself fortunate click another link if you’re looking for Martha Stewart cooking show this is epic chef two contestants will have 45 minutes to cook up an epic meal using three secret ingredients alcohol and bacon one will be crowned a Duke of epic by our panel of judges chef on the Left Gavin a sweaty Englishman and bacon makes a pornea chef on the right Shawn fancies himself a ninja in bed but actually he’s just a lone in bed today’s challenge holiday special motherf ker let’s rejoice welcome to epic chef competitive cooking show this ain’t home met class you ain’t going to get a slap on the wrist if you pack your meal up you’ll get a [ __ ] slapped in the comment section of the Internet we got mystery ingredients under this drape let’s see what they are holiday have mint jelly puff pastry you are also encouraged to incorporate the liquor of the day today it is whiskey also each contestant will be getting their very own [ __ ] briefcase full of bacon that is business right there [ __ ] here’s the deal you’re going to take these ingredients and coorporate them into a meal and feed it for our guest judges who I will introduce you to right now let’s go what’s up everybody I’m Kevin Ferrara awesome thank you you can catch me on live Jazmin every night for 20 gold I’ll put anything in my butthole hi I’m Charles Phoenix I don’t know what I’m doing here but I think I’m in the right place because we got a bacon gingerbread in the house let’s talk about my drinking problem I have one can we please feed it thank you all right what are we drinking to to you dude thank you so when my shot glass hits the table [ __ ] game on this kitchen will separate the men from the men layer grabbing the bacon briefcase like a stealthy pork assassin obviously given their attire these to appreciate strip secured pig ass Gavin approaches a bacon weave which is a level 50 bacon legend maneuver and I doubt he has the necessary skill points to complete it sean is layin Oh bacon equipped of his ninja headband like shinobi a bacon [ __ ] no bacon we gave these chefs enough of a head start now it’s time to get in their face mr. cameraman do you have the proper close-up of this please this looks like he’ll come because I look like the Hulk left me cab fare cheese on English muffins not being made by the English guy he’s frying up some bacon stovetop ninja Shawn rolling up fatty I saw some bacon in there what is this rice I don’t give up Gavin’s making mint jelly gastrique he better add some liquor to that if he plans on giving my balls tickle chefs hands off the food for real close you guys off the food I might not be the fastest taking shots but I enjoyed them more than anyone else in the world you just can’t touch your food while I do it we’re drinking to marry new ones for Christmas ah cell multi-culture you’re back you got 27 minutes left girls got his cheese yarmulke on and then we’re gonna go and circumcise Kevin are the chefs ready for the fourth secret ingredient what’s happening making some mashed potatoes sweet potatoes are you gonna use cream cheese I’m gonna use cream cheese where’s the cream cheese cream cheese is in the fridge we’ll take it out of your bag it out stop reading the instructions you’re freaking me out man like how the hell did you even get past the screening process if you’re really instructors on mac and cheese you want to read the Box a little longer I would help I mean we could google it for you or you could be a shot and figure your spell hey the one how we doing so far guys all right I mean you’re making a pretty shot you know that’s what everyone seems to do so cool now this is a tried-and-true epicMealTime tactic take a bottle of liquor and use it to roll out your dough doesn’t work with JD chefs are feeling the pressure now as they scramble like ostrich eggs we got / bacon pops a random [ __ ] and I’m starting to doubt this day was even worth waking up for that’s what I wondered do these [ __ ] even know how to cook gotta break eggs egg again tell me do it Oh like that you don’t give a pat on there you go happy holidays [ __ ] what else you want slam dunk gangster ah you gonna use this there you go this kitchen has turned into a chef show and that’s where I see the cheesy glimmer of hope with a little dash of whiskey love time is tickin here seven minutes left ninja Shawn just threw his his burrito Shawn’s plate right into the oven for ninja your awfully slow turn Thank You Shawn isn’t at all in ninja so we got a minute 40 left what are you guys thinking about your predictions and earlier on how do you feel right now now that we’re closing in on a complete dish seriously no joking around I’m not impressed at all I’m concerned about Jackie bland over there because I tried his potatoes and he managed it somehow suck all the flavor out of them but I did see some honey added some bacon at it so I wanna get in there Gavin talked a lot of game and then I didn’t see anything plated but now it looks like you got a puff pastry of doom and he pulled off the bacon weave Hey oh yeah that means stop stop cooking cool you guys cool so the chefs have presented us their dishes I’m dying to dive in before we do that let’s kind of have them explain what the [ __ ] they were thinking Gavin I did a signature bacon weave of Epic Meal Time you can’t come to this competition not do a bacon weave double fried egg Rihan that’s roasted in honey with whiskey of course and it’s with a mint jelly gastrique and also I did you a pot pie every Christmas you have a fine pot pie I know you do you’re all American that’s what you family and s we did mac and cheese with bacon and bacon grease you sound like a villain all right so we heard four men let’s get it from Sean Sean what the family thinking why were you thinking Matt why do I hate your face so what I made for you was supposed to be an epic Christmas tree in full holiday fashion now it’s just a full epic plate of mess holiday fashion on the bottom we’ve got the puff pastry top of that we’ve got the whiskey and bacon mac and cheese on top of that we got some more seared ham and we’ve got some puff pastry that’s stuffed with some ham and honey I’ll top it out we got fried eggs and a little bass lemon wedge is supposed to be the star on the top of the tree cool cool Gavin we’re gonna dive into your dish first I immediately are you I know I hate me too wait you guys let’s have our own moment for the bacon we’ve look at that can you big is this a holiday show I mean what planet do you come from that they eat this for the holidays England what is this deep-fried what steep fried grilled cheese and bacon wrapped in pizza dough I’m excited that every bite of this tastes like a shot in the VIP section of the club and I never get in the VIP section of the club because I’m a gross human so thank you for making me feel special with every bite right there okay oh my god that’s his oh nice is that a little too drunk II for you Charles it’s just first of all why did you both do macaroni and cheese so we just tasted both semi delicious dishes and now it’s time to read the verdict Charles what are you thinking why you think of that you know yes we’ve been making fun of your headband all along but you put a lemon on top of something that looked like a big cross between an ice cream sundae and a deep-fried macaroni and cheese turd okay and therefore am I supposed to say it right now mr. Harley man sir singing trumpet singing head band is my guy that little boy’s name is Sean by the way Kevin what are you thinking I’m gonna start with you Gabrielle um but I’m sorry Gregory Gervase listen Jenny you cooked it that’s something right that is bronze and the Special Olympics you made something happen now the bacon we’ve you pulled it off you did that and that was commendable I’m gonna give you that much well I appreciate that yeah I don’t care so surely I tasted yours and was actually kind of surprised because it looked it looked like something out of Close Encounters like you model it and said this means something but then you put the lemon wedge on top of the shell and it was it looked appealing but the fact that I could eat it with my hands and there was cheese in it and it tasted like something I’m gonna give you that to get it you get my vote so congratulations thank you yeah interesting I would have voted for Gavin because I really appreciated how was the only contestant who brought a bacon weave to the table however my vote means nothing cuz I’m just here to get drunk and eat so Sean you get the bowling epic chef trophy for today congratulations thank you thank you for watching epic chef tune into the Internet next week because there’s always content on the internet like follow subscribe all that social networking jazz and remember Leicester on this show and I say you’re an epic chef you ain’t you’re just a sweaty fat view with the Seder table with your family the crew here
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