“Doctors Of Reddit” #2 | WEIRDEST Patient Stories

– Nurse here. Had a patient
accuse me of (bleep) in her bed, and threaten to sue me for malpractice. Key note: she never got out of her bed. (laughing) That was good. Hey guys, what is going on? Today we’re gonna be doing
another Reddit thread, specifically a really funny one that I just came across today. Doctors of Reddit, what
is the weirdest thing a patient wouldn’t admit to? I’m gonna answer the question right now and then we’re gonna look
at everyone else’s answers, give feedback, give reactions, all that good stuff. Are you ready?
(whooping) As you know, part of my medical advice is to not put anything into your ears smaller than your elbow. What I’m trying to say
in not so eloquent terms, don’t put anything into your ears, like into into your ears. What the cottons swabs, or
Q-tips as you know them, are meant to be is for outside cleaning. But then everyone likes that sensation of scratching the inside of your ear, it feels so good, tickle, tickle, tickle. That is no bueno. You actually end up doing damage to the inside of your ear with that. You start irritating that area and that creates a breeding
ground for bacteria. One lovely day patient
come in on my schedule, ear pain, right ear. Do you use Q-tips, no. Any water in your ears, no. So I look inside the
left ear, nothing there, ear looks good, obviously as expected. Then we go into the
right ear, what do I see? An otitis externa, it’s basically an infection
of your ear canal, like the skin inside your ear. But what I see a little
bit further inside the ear is cotton! Cotton don’t belong in your ears. I don’t know why I did an accent, but it don’t belong there. I pull out the piece of cotton and I’m like, do you want to see it? My patient goes, yeah, I do. And they think I’m about to
show them a piece of wax, whip it out and they get so embarrassed. Because obviously I’m showing them that I know that they’ve
been using Q-tips. It was kind of a funny moment, we got a good laugh out of it. That guy with a spider bite on his tongue was actually eating spiders, like on purpose. Oh my god. I mean, like, I know
insects have good protein and there’s like grasshopper
protein bars now, but spiders? Not a doctor here, but a patient admitted to me that she was stuck on the
toilet seat for three days, butt suctioned into the toilet seat. Upon asking when was the last time she ate she said this morning. I said, how? Turns out her husband
was home the whole time and she threatened him not
to call the paramedics. The husband was literally
delivering her food and water. I don’t know what their end game here was. Yeah, I can see how embarrassing that is, but call the fire fighters or something. Had a mother bring in her
seven-ish year old kid who locked a pair of pink fuzzy
handcuffs around his hands. She kept saying, “he
found them on the street.” And he would get mad and
say, “I told you mom, “I found them in your room.” And she would just completely ignore that. Why would you go to the hospital? I feel like I would call police or like a firefighter or something. What are we gonna do in the hospital? I am a vet student. Many clients like to say, I
don’t overfeed my dog or cat, that’s just their normal size when their pet looks like a watermelon. Oh, I see that a lot in the park. They say, I barely feed him any dog food, he doesn’t like it. But then you see at dinner
time they’re feeding him mozzarella, chicken, cheese, Snickers. I’m like, what are you doing? Chocolate’s poison to dogs. Fido loves chocolate. Only work records in a clinic, but we had a woman come in
with a report of vaginal odor. All well and good, it happens all the time
in an OBGYN clinic, or family medicine. What she hadn’t bothered to say was that she’d gotten a tampon stuck around the end of her last period. However, she’s gone through
menopause seven years earlier. What. How the remote control
to a Zenith television wound up in the rectum of a
54 year old father of two? They stopped making Zenith
television sets years ago. From a medical perspective, why do you still own this remote? I can literally smell the smoke on your clothes and breath, see the nicotine stains on your fingers, and you’re trying to tell me you quit smoking 10 years ago? That actually happens a lot. When patients come in for a physical that is mandated by a
life insurance company. It’s well known that if you admit to a life
insurance company that you smoke you get higher premiums. People lie and try and tell the
doctor that that’s the case but now we have a blood test and a urine test that we can check and see if you actually do smoke. I guess some people can argue that and say they’re secondhand smoke but we know. Nurse here. Had parents bring their three-year-old son to the emergency department for one month of abdominal pain that kept getting worse. I ask all the routine
questions for this complaint, lots of questions about poop, bloody diarrhea, mucus, when
was the last one, changes. They deny any other concerning
symptoms but abdominal pain. We do blood work, ultrasound, x-ray. Everything comes back normal but the kid is intermittently
screaming in pain, curled in a ball. Over the next five hours I continue to repeat the same questions. I asked repeatedly if there was anything else going on
that they could think of. Nope. I bring in the discharge paperwork and I’m about to start
going over the instructions and the dad goes, you know, for the past three months he’s had a lot of worms in his poop. Worms. Effing worms. You spent six hours denying worms. I literally just turned around and walked out of the room
without saying a word. I was laughing almost
to the point of tears. Could not wait to tell my resident. Deworming medications, a
(bleep) of wasted of time, and they were on their way. Worms can happen, They’re parasites, they live
in their digestive tract and it’s just a simple medication
away from being treated. Actually one of the tests
that we do for worms is called the scotch tape test, may not have heard of it. But we literally put
a piece of scotch tape on the butt hole area. I don’t know why I said
it separate like that, but we put it there. Dan, stop laughing. I don’t normally laugh
when I say butt hole, but I can’t say certain words because of the YouTube
demonetization algorithm. So not only am I trying to
sound medically accurate, but I also have to watch my words ’cause of the algorithm. So the butt space hole, you put the scotch tape there and then the worms lay eggs so that when we take the
scotch tape off overnight we can look at under microscope and say, ooh, look, worm eggs. They’re there, it’s positive and we can treat it. The more you know about holes. A teacher once told me
a story about a lady who brought her young child
into the emergency department complaining that the child
was sick from eating ants. The doctor struggled to see
how that would make her sick. It wasn’t until after some time and the child beginning to get very sick that the mom said she gave
her own child ant poison to kill the ants she ate, then told the doctors it must be the ants and not the poison. Oh my god! If that’s true. Do not eat an poison, moral of the story. I can give you that medical
advice and not get in trouble. When I sedate kids they have to be NPO
for eight hours before, meaning no food for eight hours. So I always ask if they
had anything to eat or drink in the morning. Parents never want to admit
their kid ate or drank, even when I remind them
it’s very important because if they vomit and
aspirate they could die, meaning choke on their own vomit. Because when you’re sedated you don’t have good gag reflexes, that if you’re choking on
something you’d spit it out or vomit it out. So imagine you’re vomiting, you don’t have good gag reflexes, you could easily inhale the stuff. Often they try to minimize it and say that it was just a few bites, but the one kid walked in eating a bag of Cheetos at reception and then the parent insisted to me that they hadn’t eaten. Yeah, I’m 100% not
sedating your child today. There’s plenty of times
that a patient comes in, they need blood work. I tell them okay, make sure you don’t eat. They get their blood work, they come back. I look at their blood tests, I’m like oh my god, you’re so diabetic. You’re young, how are you so diabetic? You weren’t diabetic,
you know, six months ago. And they’re like, oh, was
I not supposed to eat? I admitted a guy for chest pain. As part of the workup I
did a urine drug screen which came back positive for cocaine. After the rest of his
cardiac workup was negative I said to him, good news you
didn’t have a heart attack. It’s likely that your chest
pain was caused by cocaine. His answer, I didn’t use cocaine. See, I was at a party and people had some lines
of cocaine out on a table and as I was walking by an oscillating fan blew the cocaine into my face which is why my urine was positive. (laughing) I’ve said before my channel why you need to be really
honest with drug use when you’re talking to your doctor. Because there’s many times
medications interact, treatments interact. And unless we know fully what’s going on we may actually do more
harm than good to you. Not a doctor, but a nurse. Medical professionals, we’re opening it up to
medical professionals. Had a patient come in with
a toothpick in his penis. Refused to tell me how he got in there, insisting he was picking
his teeth and it fell in. (laughing) Oh, man! I feel like there’s always gonna be some kind of weird thing
that a patient came in, tried to insert into
themselves one way or another and they tell a really interesting story because they’re embarrassed
to tell you the truth. Don’t be embarrassed. Doctors are humans too. We do weird stuff all the time. I mean, not me. But, you know, other doctors. Not a doctor, but work in the E.R.. One day some pretty young
parents brought their toddler in because he was super lethargic and not responding to any stimuli and the parents said they had no idea why. The staff were pretty concerned for him because those symptoms are a pretty big red flag for small kids. So we start running a bunch of tests including a drug screen which ended up being positive for THC, the main ingredient in marijuana. The doc goes and talks
to the parents about it and they finally broke down and admitted that the kid had eaten an entire bottle of their weed gummies while they weren’t paying
attention a few hours earlier and he was just high. Oh my god, that’s so dangerous. We need to be careful
with this kind of stuff. This is why Tide Pods, like, we know of Tide Pods ’cause
of the Tide Pod Challenge, but Tide Pods are
actually really dangerous and cause severe issues
in very young children. Because if they’re kept
in a low enough area and there’s a three-year-old
running around he sees a colorful thing
that looks like candy, puts it in his mouth, emergency room. I can’t tell you how many
immaculate conceptions I’ve seen in teenage girls with their overbearing religious parents. The crazy thing is how tightly the parents stick to the story that she never had sex, but somehow got pregnant. I get it. You, like, are lying to yourself so that you don’t displease,
you know, your faith. That kind of stuff doesn’t
bode well for physicians because we’re trying
to deliver quality care and we’re trying not be judgmental, but if you’re gonna lie
to us and mislead us we may hurt the person
that we’re trying to save. Swingingrichard3, I evaluated a patient for acute abdominal pain in the ED. No PE, physical exam, findings were noted and the patient’s vitals were
all within normal limits. I then ordered some plain
films, which is an x-ray, which showed an incandescent light bulb lodged in the rectum. When questioned about how the
light bulb got into his rectum he stated he was working
outside in the garage and fell off a ladder. He was then sent to the operating room where the bulb was a rule
without any complications. Some days I love my job. A light bulb? First of all, incandescent light bulb, how does it not shatter, A? And B, why? In reality, yeah, people
sometimes feel embarrassed and don’t tell the truth, that’s why you need to be a
good communicator as a doctor to sort of feel and
sense these things out. As a patient, the advice that I would
give to you for the future, please be honest with your doctors. If you don’t tell us about
a specific drug you’ve taken or activity you’ve done we can actually harm you. We can even kill you in
certain circumstances. The more honest you could be, the better care you’re gonna get. I’m gonna be telling my
crashing a car spider story soon and that’s gonna be me admitting something really bad to ambulance drivers,
firefighters, and all that. So I’m not afraid to share some of my most embarrassing stories. Come on, for god’s sakes, I told you guys I pooped in my pants
so many times as a kid. Check out my Mother’s Day video for that. If you have any good Reddit threads you want me to look through
and discuss on this channel drop them down below in the comments, share them on my subreddit
which is linked down below. We can talk about it, we can get some education, have a good laugh, smiles,
all that good stuff. And check out this playlist right that I created especially for you. As always, stay happy and healthy (lively music)
Video source:

Related Articles

Check Also
Back to top button