Doctor Reacts To WILD Medical Tweets

– Twitter’s a controversial
place with a lot of controversial opinions,
but let’s see what they do with medical info. (person whistles) Pew-woo! Mela, my doctor thinks I’m hot. He said fever, but I’ll take it. A fever is above 100.3 degrees Fahrenheit. A lot of my patients come
in and say they have a fever because they’re running 99.5, but that’s not a fever,
technically speaking. You are hot, though. Mommy Cusses, found out
at my doctor’s appointment that the disturbing voices
I’ve been hearing nonstop are called children. (Mikhail laughs) That’s good. Bill Murray. Did Bill Murray tweet this? I hate when I’m on the
treadmill and my hand accidentally hits the stop
button, and I have to get off and eat a bacon grilled cheese sandwich. (Mikhail laughs) Don’t hit the stop button,
unless it’s an emergency, of course, and don’t get a
bacon grilled cheese sandwich. First date, her, I’m really
only interested in inner beauty. Me, oh I see. Second date, me, so I
scheduled us for colonoscopies. That’s funny. That’s not the inner
beauty that you wanna see because I will tell you, unless you do really good colon prep, which
means drinking that stuff that makes you clear out, the colon is not a pretty place to be. Taming Fred Savage, I don’t
know who Fred Savage is. Me, donating body to science. Science, donates my body to Goodwill. That’s not how it works. First of all, everyone should,
highly recommended by me, become an organ donor. All the myths out there about
doctors not caring about you because you’re an organ donor,
and they’ll let you die, it’s all nonsense, nonsense. When I’m working in the ER, I have no idea who’s an organ donor, and who’s not. Only once the patient passes
do we even begin to look for that information, and we don’t donate
the bodies to Goodwill. I found out it takes 42 muscles to frown, so I went ahead and
canceled my gym membership. I don’t know it’s 42 muscles, but I know it takes more muscles
to from than to smile. That’s why I’m always
smiling because I’m lazy. Rodney Lacroix, I wonder
if he owns the water? Rich? Doctor, do you exercise? Me, yes. Smoke? No, never. Drink? Yes. How often? Four kids. Heavily, got it. I long and love for those
honest conversations. As a family medicine doc,
you’re talking to someone who’s stressed out. They’re not so excited to
be at a doctor’s office because they have a
million other things to do, but you just have this
connection where they tell you about their life, you
understand their struggles, you help them, you try and make their life not only a little bit
healthier, but a little bit more fruitful, so they get more out of it. They give to the world. They give to themselves. Genetics lab, me, one
designer baby please. Doctor, it’s not like that, you. Me, please remove the
pooping and crying functions. Doctor, what, no, you can’t. Me, give it wings and flame throwers. Doctor, hmm? Me, I’m gonna call her Claire. (Mikhail coughs) Sounds like they’re building a Transformer more than they are making a designer baby. That is literally not how it works. Your baby will need to cry. Your baby will need to poop. In fact, if it didn’t
have those functions, you’ll have a bigger problem
with your baby, just saying. Maybe I took that too seriously. You know you’re a nurse if
you’ve been telling stories in a restaurant, and had someone
at another table throw up. I think that’s just being in the medical profession in general. Sometimes, I’m telling
stories to my friends, and they’re like, Mike, we’re eating, and I’m like, true. Poop jokes don’t work when
you’re eating dessert. Jessie, doctor, do you exercise? Me, thinking of the arm
curls to get the chips from the bag to my mouth. Yes, daily. If you actually do a strong
isometric contraction right here, that could be
exercise, but I don’t know many people who eat chips like that. If you do, why? Aunt Chelle, at a doctor appointment, step up on the scale. Jokingly, do I have to? No. What? How have I gone this long without knowing this was an option? I mean, everything when
you go to a doctor’s office is an option, unless you’re
going for a work physical, or some clearance, but
in general, when you go, you have a patient bill of rights. Anything you don’t wanna
do, even though we’ll try and recommend why you should
do it, you don’t have to. That’s the beauty of medicine. We work together as a team. If you’re uncomfortable with something, maybe don’t say, I don’t wanna do it. State that you’re
uncomfortable, and perhaps, hear the doctor’s explanation
of why it’s recommended. You never realize how
squeaky your shoes are until you walk into the
room of a sleeping patient, nurse problems, nurse life. I don’t know what it is,
hospitals are extra echo-y. Why? So, I got a text from the
doctor, asking if my crap was properly hydrated. Turns out, he actually wrote CPAP, and no, I’m not adjusting to bifocals. Well, for those of you who don’t know, CPAP is continuous
positive airway pressure. It’s the thing that people wear
around their nose at night. It’s a big contraption that
lays at the side of their bed. It basically keeps your airway open so that when you have sleep apnea, your airway doesn’t collapse,
and you wake up snoring because you actually weren’t breathing. It’s not so comfortable to wear, but I will say there are
things on the horizon to make this whole process a lot smoother. Me, I feel like a pizza party should refer to pizzas having a party. Oh wow. Humans having pizza at
a party should just be a party with pizza. Does that make sense to you? Therapist, I think we
should meet more often. (Mikhail laughs) I think that is natural curiosity
that makes you eccentric, and fun, and interesting to be around. Matty MSN, you know
it’s gonna be a #badday when the scrub machine gives
you two pants and no shirt. It’s going shirtless. For those of you who don’t know, there are now Scrub X machines. I forgot the name of the brand, where you literally punch
in your employee ID, or scan your badge, and
it feeds you your scrubs for the day, and you can
put them on, but sometimes, they make mistakes, and
they give you wrong sizes, sometimes it gives you
two pants and no shirt, and that’s a struggle
because to get it fixed, you need to go find
someone, and if you’re busy, and it’s a shift. Hey, do you wanna hang out? Sure, I’m free October 32, 2051. Let’s plan something for
then, med student problems. Oh my God. I remember when I was on the ICU block, and I would be working six days a week, call queue two, which
means every other day, means you come in at 5
a.m., you leave at 9 p.m. every other day. Just imagine how brutal that is. You have to wake up at 3:30,
4, get to the hospital, work all day, get home at night,
wake up again super early, all you did was work and
sleep during the ICU block. Your friends were like, where did you go this last month, and you’re like, ICU. They’re like, you see me? No, no, no, I-C, intensive care unit. Jay Kay, oh, get it, J-K? Nine out of 10 doctors recommend a diet rich in lean protein and vegetables, and one out of 10 doctors is a stakeholder in the bariatric sleeve. For those of you who
don’t know, by the way, bariatric sleeve is a
surgery that you can get in order to shrink the
size of your stomach, which basically encourages you to not eat, so you lose a lot of weight quickly. Other names for this is a stomach bypass, stomach stapling
procedure, gastric bypass, all sorts of names, but these
types of bariatric surgeries actually have really good
evidence working long-term for those who are really obese, I’m not talking about if you’re
10, 15 pounds overweight. I’m talking morbid
obesity where the obesity is presenting an imminent
threat to your life. CT scan, patient, doc,
you’re sure this is safe? Just a little radiation, right? Me, from a mile away, behind
some bulletproof glass, a wall that’s 45 feet thick,
and a full suit of lead, uh-huh, please hold still. No, look, CT scans absolutely expose you to a dose of radiation. The benefits of getting
a CT scan in an emergency or when there’s a true medical condition that we’re trying to evaluate
are outweighed by the risks, meaning that it’s more
beneficial to do the scan, and expose yourself to
some potential radiation. That being said, doing
CT scans unnecessarily is really bad, and as a
patient, okay, you’ll get one CT scan, but as the doctor or the tech that’s doing the exam, you’re
doing dozens of these a day, so you’d be exposed to a ton of radiation, so you better get 45 feet
away, by a 45-foot wall with a suit of lead. Doctor, how do you practice self-care? Me, pillows. Doctor, pillows, by sleeping on them? Me, no, by screaming into them. You know what? I wouldn’t even judge. If one of my patients
came in and they said they get a lot of happiness,
or their emotions out by screaming into a
pillow, that’s awesome. I think I get a lot of my anger out and work out my issues when
I’m punching a punching bag, you know, and to each their own. There is a surprising
lack of YouTube videos detailing how to perform self-surgeries for inguinal hernia. Yeah because you shouldn’t
perform surgery on yourself. It’s really that simple. There was a story of a
doctor who performed surgery on themselves in, I think, Antarctica because there was no access to medicine, and he performed an
appendectomy on himself. I’m gonna tell the story in a video because it’s a crazy story,
and you gotta hear it. If you’re down, let me
know in the comments. No idea Daddy blog, five-year-old, where’s the scissors? Me, five-year-old, I’m playing doctor. Hmm, cute. On the dog. Takes back scissors. Bear, that one was about you. I would never use scissors on you. I would never use scissors on you. You sleepy? He’s a sleepy Bear today. Look at him. Look at his little head. Whoa, that’s an aggressive neuf. (light music)
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