Doctor Reacts To The Most Bizarre Onion Medical Headlines

– Pros and cons of standing desks. Pro, improves ability to talk about having a standing desk, facts. The Onion is a satirical news source, satirical, it’s a joke. It pokes fun at us humans. We need to laugh and smile more and not take The Onion seriously, ’cause I’ve seen some people
tweet out Onion headlines, shocked as if they were true articles. – [Man] Dr. Anthony Fauci, director of the National
Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases. But a disturbing report today has revealed that the now infamous immunologist may actually just be a figment of the nation’s collective imagination. Hear more about how millions of Americans are all having the same
exact hallucinations of the so-called Dr. Fauci. – Honestly, Dr. Fauci, is that good. That he could totally be a hallucination. Do you know why? No, he’s not hallucination because I actually interviewed. – [Dr. Fauci] Dr. Mike, how are you? – First of all, let me
say a huge thank you for joining us on the YouTube channel. Everyone in the news keeps saying. Doctor informs woman she pregnant as hell. I don’t even think this is a real doctor. What is happening here? What is this false identification little loose-leaf paper
he has here with no name? And that’s a disposable stethoscope folks. Why is he wearing it? Why is there no name tag? Why does he have a laser pointer? This is not a person you should trust. Pros and cons of standing desks. Pro, improves ability to talk about having a standing desk. Facts, two most common
conversations I have with patients. Those who are vegan,
about them being vegan and those who have a standup desk and wanna tell me about
their standup desk. Encourage more natural spinal curvature while staring at screen
for eight continuous hours. Increase blood flow to your feet where your best thinking
is done, that’s funny. One step closer toward the
ultimate dream of flying desks. Con, could wind up forgetting
how to sit entirely. Eliminates satisfaction of
leaning back in your chair with your hands behind your head after sending a killer email. Ooh, that feels good. You’ll still eventually die. Doctors warn Marshawn Lynch that the next time he goes into beast mode could kill him. I’m on beast mode right now
for this YouTube channel. I see this misinformation and I’m just going beast, me and Marshawn. Cubs team doctor recommends Anthony Rizzo rehab injured ankle by engaging in light physical
activities like baseball. Professional athletes to
a professional athletes. But baseball is the definition of a sedentary activity. Running around the bases
should be totally fine and is actually great
way to rebuild strength. There is actually really good exercises that you can do to rehab an
ankle that are not baseball. And a lot of them are about
regaining your range of motion. And then it’s about
regaining your stability. That ligament that is most often injured is called the anterior
talofibular ligament. And because of that,
when you step forward, you can lose some of that stability and you could fall forward. Beyonce begins painful
surgical transformation to prepare for her role in
live action “Lion King” remake. Once the radical alterations
to her bones and musculature and skin are completed, you
won’t even be able to tell that the big old cat
you’re looking on screen is actually Beyonce. The process would begin with
breaking and readjusting the pop star’s spinal
column, and pelvic bones to allow her to comfortably
walk quadrupedally. Never said that word publicly before. There’s commitment to acting and then there’s becoming a real lion And somewhere there needs
to be a medical line that should not be crossed. Sick man slowly becoming
enthroned in used tissues. Must be soft and comfy, but kind of gross ’cause it’s mucusy at the same time. Local woman considers telling
gynecologist whole truth. Local woman, Denise Bowers,
was mentally calculating the precise amount of information she would have to divulge in order to obtain powerful
prescription antibiotics. Patients wanna divulge as
least amount of information to get what they think is
the accurate treatment. That is why whenever a
patient comes into my office, in addition to asking them
questions about their symptoms, their history, and doing a physical exam, I also ask them at the end of every visit, what is their theory? What did they think is going on? ’cause if they leave my office unsatisfied or without truly getting an answer to the question that’s deep in here, I’m not doing my job as a doctor. – I’m Perry Bigwell and
today Rob Gronkowski. After missing most of the
2013 season with injuries, the loose assemblage of
screws, splintered bones, and mangled joints that make
up the Patriots tight end – This image. – [Perry] For a massive comeback. There are a lot of
questions surrounding Gronk this fantasy football season but I say ride that creature to the end. – I feel like Rob Gronkowski
is truly a bionic man at this point. Not because his surgeries
and fixes that he’s had, but he just doesn’t go down. I remember in the “Entourage” movie, he’s like partying with a crutch and he has like an injured
arm, like a broken arm and he’s like still partying. I’ve had my shoulder like gets sore, like I don’t wanna get out of bed. Robert Gronkowski, he’s like,
“Let’s go take some hits.” Study finds healthy lifestyle can cut risk of developing
Alzheimer’s by 60%. I’m getting sick of researchers
expecting me to do things when they should be the
ones coming up with cures. People must really hate Alzheimer’s if they’re willing to live a
healthy long life to avoid it. So you’re saying nothing I can do? In order for us to find
cures we need to figure out what we can do first and then
figure out the mechanism, thereby reducing that risk, thereby being able to implement the cure or treatment, you dig? Latest study finds cancer cells now cruelly mocking researchers. A new Mayo Clinic study
with widespread implications for the treatment or
potential cure of the disease has found that the malignant growths are basically flipping off
scientists left and right and get a huge kick out
of making oncologists feel like a bunch of bumbling chumps. I would love if when
oncologists or pathologists are looking under the microscope to see if the treatments are working and the malignant cells are
just sitting there like, “You can’t catch me, you can’t catch me.” Real headline. Doctors edit living
patient’s DNA for first time. I’m just worried about
the moral considerations of helping sick people with Greg Paulson. Is a window defroster a career? It will be a great day when all doctors can defy God’s plan like this. I feel like that’s a Drake lyric. The field of injecting
things never stops advancing. That’s true, we like
injecssing stuff, injecssing. True headline. FDA set to approve
gene-altering cancer treatment. The FDA is expected to approve
a new leukemia treatment that alters the patient’s
cells to target cancer cells with hope it gets someday fight
other types of cancer too. What do you think? I would only alter my genes
to become more powerful not less sick. So you pay for some fancy treatment, but it’s your body doing the actual work? What is scam. All of medicine is your body
doing the work, literally, unless I’m actively doing
a surgical procedure to fix something and put it together, it’s their body doing the work. In fact, when the surgeon connects things, we don’t even connect it all the way. We usually just like kinda line it up and let the body heal itself anyway. Insurance only covers
generic heart transplant. My doctor says it should
work exactly the same as any other heart, it has the same valve, same ventricle, same everything. Aside from lacking any branding,
the heart he’s receiving is essentially identical
to the more expensive ones. Frankly, as long as it keeps on beating, I don’t care where it’s from. This is a play on generic medications. Yes, generic medications are
the same as the branded ones. When you go in to buy
aspirin and you’re like, “Can I get Bayer?” You’re still paying for aspirin. When you say Bayer, that’s
a company, that’s a brand but you don’t have to buy
the brand to get the aspirin. Same thing with a set of acetaminophen, Tylenol is the brand name of that. Dr. Dilshad Atwal and I who’s an interventional
pain medicine doctor looked at memes together. He struggled, it’s worth a
watch, check it out here. And if you didn’t see the previous episode of my Onion medical reviews, click here for that episode as well. And as always stay happy and healthy. (upbeat music)
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